Morellia Vulgaris ... Tales of the Vulgar Python

> recent entries
> calendar
> friends
> profile

Friday, May 16th, 2008
11:04 pm - The Master Alchemist (Or what I made in Poser today)
He will bewitch your mind and ensnare your senses. If you are prepared, he will instruct you in the subtle art of alchemy and unveil the mysteries of the Philosopher's Stone. Along with the usual Bottling of Glory and Stoppering of Death while battling with incredible heroism (not to mention sheer dumb luck) against impossible odds. Including Dark Lords, Masked Minions, Giant Spiders, Trolls, Basilisks, Werewolves, Vampires, Bureaucrats and Other Foul Forces Too Numerous To Be Listed.

But be warned! He does not suffer fools. Period. If you are the sort of dunderhead more likely to stir up Trouble than brew a decent Calming Draught, if you cannot tell the difference between monkshood and aconite (there is none) and haven't a clue what a bezoar is, let alone where to find one, you are certainly not Apprentice material and will no doubt spend your entire career deep in the castle's dungeons.

Scrubbing cauldrons. Without magic.


Credits: M3 and Achilles Hair available at Daz. WizardMaster outfit available at Poserworld. "Master Alchemist" character is custom made with FaceShop Pro and the Male Character Morphs set (Daz). Texture is "Adrian" from RDNA. Eyes are Dazzling Gaze (Daz). Lights by Jepe. Room and assorted props are from DM's "Chronicles" and "Rituals" sets. The background is one of Lin White's "Disturbed Dreams".

Rendered in Poser. No postwork other than assembly, caption and "magical lightning". Comments welcome!

current mood: artistic
current music: I Did It My Way by Frank Sinatra

(1 comment | comment on this)

Thursday, February 21st, 2008
4:24 pm - More One-Liners
Damn, these things are addictive! Claiming another 50 in Chronicles of Riddick/Pitch Black fandom. Here's my table. Replaced prompts are: Road Trip. Ecstatic. Woods. Interest. Spirit. Sorry but I don't think they'll work where this is going.

001. Air. 002. Earth. 003. Fire. 004. Water. 005. Treachery.
006. Alone. 007. Babble. 008. Blood. 009. Candles. 010. Cat.
011. Claim. 012. Content. 013. Dance. 014. Daydreaming. 015. Devious.
016. First Date. 017. Smell 018. Enemies. 019. Family. 020. Friends.
021. Lovers. 022. Strangers. 023. First. 024. Last. 025. Forgive.
026. Gloomy. 027. Hairbrush. 028. Incense. 029. Hours. 030. Queen.
031. Kinky. 032. Legend. 033. Eternal. 034. Making Dinner. 035. Moon.
036. Sun. 037. Mortality. 038. Sin. 039. Virtue. 040. Phoenix.
041. Pounce. 042. Nightmare. 043. Shooting Star. 044. Sick. 045. Time.
046. Silence. 047. Sleeping In. 048. Surprised. 049. Temper. 050. Home

Pairing is Riddick/Vaako (naturally!) and ratings will vary from Teen to Adults Only. Don't worry, there'll be plenty of warning before we get to the naughty bits. ;-)

current mood: hungry
current music: Whatever's on the radio.

(comment on this)

Tuesday, February 19th, 2008
2:57 pm - 1 Sentence Fic: Snarry 100
Got bitten by the 1-sentence challenge bug that's going round, so I signed up to do a Snarry in one hundred sentences. Here's the first ten. Don't worry, there may be some angst but I don't do death fics. Or if I do, they don't stay dead. ;-)



"If brewed correctly, your potion should be the exact color of a robin's egg at this ... Mister Potter, what is that orange sludge doing in your cauldron?"


"Neville must have added fresh salamander scales instead of dried -- look out, it's going to blow!"


How odd that it doesn't hurt, Severus thought, as he was suddenly covered from head to toe in the bubbling hot slime that was the latest Longbottom-Potter potions disaster.


In fact, he realized, watching the goop slowly dissolve into his skin, not only did it not burn, but he never felt better in his entire life.


As the last drop was absorbed, the air around Snape began to shimmer, bathing him in an eldritch glow.


Harry's chest tightened, a sob caught in his throat at the sight of his professor (and secret crush!) in what could only be mortal peril ... all because of him.


The witchfire flared and vanished, leaving behind no trace of Severus Snape but a scorched and smoking long black cloak.


That evening the Gryffindors threw the mother of all parties to celebrate the vanquishing of the horrible greasy git who'd made their lives pure hell these past seven years.


Harry swallowed the potion Poppy gave him, wishing it were a vial of poison and not merely Draught of Living Death.


His last clear thought before sleep overtook him was "Please don't let him be gone, God, please let this be nothing but another bad dream."


current mood: soggy
current music: Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head.

(comment on this)

Friday, January 11th, 2008
11:50 pm - 100 One-Liners
Here's my prompt table. Editing posts in IJ sucks -- sorry Tweak -- and I fail at HTML so I can't link properly. Anyway, whatever is in ALL CAPS is a completed piece.
1. storm 2. wind 3. writhe 4. smile 5. proposition
6. romantic 7. torture 8. moan 9. dinner 10. feather
11. moon 12. question 13. frustrated 14. beach 15. pleasure
16. first 17. argument 18. forever 19. paranoid 20. satin
21. strawberries 22. forgiveness 23. peaceful 24. DREAM 25. best friend
26. eternal 27. memory 28. LIFE 29. time 30. cherish
31. alone 32. together 33. pet 34. fingers 35. court
36. cranky 37. laugh 38. CELEBRATION 39. love 40. FLAME
41. furious 42. betrayal 43. car 44. heart 45. last
46. day 47. night 48. touch 49. scent 50. symmetry
51. knife 52. kiss 53. cream 54. PAIN 55. hope
56. BREATH 57. moment 58. wet 59. hairbrush 60. butterfly
61. home 62. ghost 63. sunrise 64. DEATH 65. temper
66. woods 67. tan 68. spank 69. claim 70. self-love
71. mischievous 72. beautiful 73. LIGHT 74. dark 75. red
76. anniversary 77. BLUE 78. sick 79. phone 80. handcuffs
81. ugly 82. silk 83. predatory 84. WRONG 85. water
86. ball 87. lips 88. dusk 89. restless 90. cuddle
91. tie 92. lick 93. hug 94. prison 95. ecstatic
96. lubrication 97. dawn 98. flirt 99. loss 100. dry

current mood: creative
current music: TV in the background.

(comment on this)

Tuesday, December 25th, 2007
4:09 pm - Merry Christmas!

Here's hoping Father Christmas (or Whomever) brings you all your hearts desires. Especially the naughty ones. ;-)  Happy Holidays!

current mood: hopeful
current music: Joy To the World

(comment on this)

Sunday, December 23rd, 2007
7:17 pm - Happy Holidays!
A couple of holiday ficlets for your amusement. You may have read these before over on my Live Journal -- sorry but it's a madhouse around here and I haven't had time for anything new. Not putting them behind cuts 'cuz they're (a) short and (b) not very smutty, say PG-13 or thereabouts if this were a movie. Here's hoping my muse gets a visit from the Porn Fairy come New Year. Merlin knows the lazy thing needs it!



"Come on, Sev, it'll be fun."

Snape shot him the look. The one that said "bugger off and drop dead, you insolent little arsehole". As usual, it bounced off Harry like Avada Kedavra. He shrugged and dipped his quill in the pot of green ink. Oh well, it was worth a try.

Harry made a beeline for his right earlobe and started nibbling. Severus tensed and tried – admittedly not too hard –  to pull away. "Mister Potter. Unlike some people, I have work to do. Textbooks do not write themselves." Actually, the fifth year potions book was already written. He just wanted to make a handful of minor adjustments to the proof scroll before owling it to his publisher, Fintan & Sons. Unlike most Muggle firms and even a few magical ones they weren't in any big hurry to get it back. The book wouldn't even be printed until next September, just before school started.

A soft chuckle. "That's Potter-Snape to you. And you know what they say about all work and no play. Besides, you missed it last time."

The potions master shuddered. Thank all the gods he had, or he'd have ended up with his lustrous raven hair dyed holly berry red for a whole month, thanks to the hex a certain pair of hooligans had cast on the mulled cider. What they'd done to the plum pudding the year before ... Safe to say, not all of his nightmares involved being hideously tortured by Malfoy Senior and Voldemort following his exposure as a spy. "Brat. Since when have I ever cared for what they say? And I do believe it was a Gryffindor who came up with that proverb. One of Albus's lunatic ancestors, no doubt. He comes from a long line of court jesters and clowns ... even if he is among the three most powerful wizards since Merlin."

Okay, time to switch tactics. Harry got in touch with his inner Slytherin. "You mean you're not in the least bit least curious to see what Ron and Draco have planned by way of announcing their engagement?" He added, "I can hardly wait to see the fireworks."

Snape snorted. Everybody knew those two were an item, even before they had. No fireworks there: unlike Sirius Black, Lucius Malfoy was not about to show up in the middle of the night screaming the most vile insults and challenging Ron Weasley to an illegal wizard's duel. He was much too busy entertaining the few Dementors that hadn't gone over to Voldemort during the final battle. And as for Narcissa ... Severus ground his teeth. His self-centered little whore of a stepsister couldn't care less what became of her only child after Draco refused the Dark Mark, turning to Dumbledore, his uncle, and the Light. Molly and Arthur Weasley gave the boy refuge and before summer was even halfway over he was bedding their youngest son. By Lammastide he was with child by his lover. The new grandparents-to-be were ecstatic, having long given up hope of that Granger girl ever mothering any of their brood. Now if she were to attend the so-called festivities...

"It might provide momentary respite from an otherwise boring affair," he allowed. Careful there, Severus, his little voice told him. Mustn't seem too eager or he'll walk all over you. What was he thinking? Potter already walked all over him. The beautiful brat had only to lift a finger and his stern, forbidding professor became little more than a carpet spread out for his use. Worse, and Snape did his best to hide the fact, especially from his husband, he wouldn't have it any other way. True, he couldn't make up for all the years of neglect and abuse Harry had suffered – some of it at his hands, back when it was necessary to pretend they were enemies – but he could try.

Yes! Harry was doing mental somersaults. Finally, he was going to go to the Yule Ball with the date of his choosing. The one, true love of his life, not some cute little teenybopper witch or wizard the rest of society deemed a fit companion for The Boy Who Lived –  gods, how he hated that ridiculous title. It made him feel like the freak the Dursleys had always accused him of being. Worse, a storybook character that couldn't be hurt no matter what you did to him, not a real person at all. He quickly smothered that dismal thought and, with a mischievous smile, resumed teasing his mate. Not that it was really teasing, they both knew he was ready and willing to make good on all his promises. Now and later on tonight, just as soon last dance was over. They might even leave earlier, if things got out of hand. Or, as he suspected but hoped she wouldn't, 'Mione threw a fit when she found out about the baby. Speaking of which...

"You know, I still can't figure out how Ron managed to get Draco up the duff. We learned about reproduction and safe sex way back in fourth year. A birth control spell takes only a minute. And it won't have nasty side effects or ruin the mood, the way Madam Pomfrey told us non-magical methods can often do."

Severus laughed, he couldn't help it. "You are such an innocent, my love."

Harry tried to look indignant; he only managed to look twice as edible. Snape's quill and parchment were tossed unceremoniously aside in favor of the tasty holiday treat sitting in his lap. What? The little minx was talking dirty to him in Parseltongue, an even bigger turn-on now that Sev could understand it, thanks to a certain permanent curse inflicted upon upon him by that magical menace, Gilderoy Lockehart. He hissed back with equal fervor as his cock rose to attention. Before long, they were both naked and thrusting hard against each other.

After their impromptu bout of lovemaking and the cleanup and cuddle session that followed, Severus explained. "Unless they avoided sexual intercourse altogether, it was bound to happen. And perhaps not even then, if half of what I've heard about the matter is true." Harry raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "It's not a widely known fact, you won't find it in Hogwarts: A History – not in the student edition, anyway –  but back in the Middle Ages, it was a Weasley who invented the Fecundus Maximus charm. And no contraceptive, be it magic or muggle made, can stand up to the likes of that."

Wow! Talk about your lucky escapes!

"What lucky escapes?" Whoops, Harry really had to work on keeping his shields more firmly in place. That wasn't a thought he'd wanted to share while in bed with his husband, especially right after they'd had mind-blowing sex. "Uhhh---"

"Harr-ry ..." That tone. He swallowed hard. Oh well, in for a penny ... "Promise you won't kill him? Draco'll never speak to you again if you kill him." He let his bottom lip quiver, just a little bit. A Snape, no matter how angry, had no defense against a patented Harry Potter lip quiver.

"I promise, on my honor as head of Slytherin. I will not kill my nephew's pet weasel." THUMP. "Ouch! Harry! My ribs. Very well, I won't kill Mr. Weasley. However, I do reserve the right to hex him polka-dotted the next time...oh all right, no hexes either. Now then, you were saying?"

"I was saying, in that case it's a darn good thing I ran away when he tried snogging me under the mistletoe Christmas Eve before last."

Severus gaped. "He tried ... and you ran away? Harry, he's your closest friend. Why, even I let Malfoy Senior have a snog or two –  before I found out what a good for nothing louse he really was. And it was certainly no secret what Remus Lupin and your flea bitten mutt of a godfather got up to on St. Stephen's night in the broom shed, the year we graduated." What he did not add, and kept tightly shielded too, was that James Potter had later sneaked off to said broom shed, following a spectacular row with Lily. "Everybody experiments with their friends, it's a perfectly natural thing."

Harry shook his head. "That may very well be, but I never felt the urge. You see, my love," he whispered, leaning in to claim a kiss, "I knew all along that you were the only one for me."


The End.


Can't Blame The Mistletoe

Hermione entered the Great Hall and stopped dead in her tracks. The house-elves had gone totally overboard as only they could do with the decorations, but that wasn't it. Dumbledore and McGonnigal were wearing Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus outfits -- trust those bloody Yanks to "improve" on good old Father Christmas! -- but that wasn't it either. Fred and George were over by the punch bowl and very obviously up to no good, as anyone who'd attended the last Yule Ball (which meant everyone except Professor Snape, who'd been away on urgent Order of the Phoenix business and didn't get back until Hogmanay) could certainly attest, but that still wasn't it.

And there was absolutely nothing out of the ordinary about Harry Potter sitting at the teacher's table (he'd chosen to Apprentice, in potions of all things, in addition to his NEWTs) with a huge black python wrapped rather seductively around him. Both were lost in their own little world -- nothing strange there -- and once again she gave thanks that she didn't speak Parseltongue, because obviously they were discussing rather intimate matters. She didn't bat an eyelash when the snake slid sinuously down Harry's shoulder, transformed into Severus Snape and sashayed off in the direction of the dungeons ... with a panting, drooling and -- Lordy, was that his wand? No wonder Snape walked funny in the mornings! -- Boy Who Lived hot on his round little heels.

Perfectly normal, that.

No, what held her fast as if she'd been hit with Petrificus Totalis was seeing Draco Malfoy sitting at ::gasp:: the Gryffindor table. To be precise about it (and Ms. Granger was nothing if not precise) he was sitting at the Gryffindor table in Ron Weasley's lap with his tongue probing the other boy's tonsils. And Ron, her Ron or so she'd always thought, was eagerly -- make that voraciously -- snogging him back.

And there wasn't a mistletoe in sight. Tons of greenery but not a single sprig of mistletoe.

'Mione blinked and shook her head. What the hell was in that eggnog anyway? Not even Trelawney's weird incense and very funny herbs could conjure up a stranger vision. Come to think of it, her Divinations teacher looked as gobsmacked by the display as she was. Not a hallucination, then. It had to be a charm, a hex or an attraction spell of doubtful legality.

In other words, a typical Slytherin ploy crafted for the sole purpose of embarrassing the rival House. At her best friend's expense -- and Ron was still her friend, even if she'd been ignoring him lately in favor of her own pursuits. Besides, he'd always known how important her career was; after all she was a modern, liberated witch. Surely he hadn't expected ...

Oh. My. God. Was that ... on Draco's left hand... it couldn't be. But it was. A diamond engagement ring. And not just any engagement ring either; this was the Weasley diamond, a family heirloom handed down for...for as many generations as there were Weasleys.

And there were a lot of Weasleys. All of a sudden, Hermione felt ill.

The steamy kiss finally ended -- they must be running out of air, she thought -- but Draco made no attempt to move, indeed to do anything but cuddle even closer and purr. Oh, and gaze adoringly up at Ron from behind a veil of long, golden lashes. She swallowed hard. Ron was gazing back at him with equal adoration. He smiled more lovingly than she had ever seen anyone do except her Dad when he looked at Mum that special way, and tenderly stroked Malfoy's cheek. As Draco leaned into the caress, Ron's other hand pressed ever so gently against his slightly rounded belly.

His four months pregnant belly.

KA-THUMP!!! Out she went like the proverbial light. Maybe even a bit faster, so great was the blow to her feminine ego. McGonnigal tsk-tsked and levitated her out of the way. Too much holiday cheer; it happened all the time.

A pair of house elves popped in, skinny arms overflowing with holly, ivy, and ...

"Mistletoe. Dobby is forgetting the mistletoe." With that he pinned the biggest, greenest, most berry-laden bunch right over the Gryffindor table, not at all coincidently where the newly betrothed couple were sitting. "Happy Christmas."

Ronald Weasley, soon to be Weasley-Malfoy, laughed and kissed his beloved's pert little nose. Happy Christmas indeed!


The End!


Whatever holidays you celebrate, I wish you all much love and joy. :-)

current mood: crazy
current music: Jingle Balls. ;-)

(comment on this)

Wednesday, October 31st, 2007
2:08 pm - Legend
Just a little something in celebration of Samhain. Blessings, good wishes and a very Happy Halloween to everyone!

"Once upon a time there was a Hero ..."

current mood: crazy
current music: "Thriller"

(comment on this)

Monday, October 22nd, 2007
3:47 pm - Things Not To Do (HP Version)
Just having some fun with icons and lists. Some things you really shouldn't do at Hogwarts -- especially if you're in Slytherin or Gryffindor. Rules are the same as always: credit not necessary but Thank-Yous are nice. :-)





Enjoy & let me know what you think. Suggestions, tips for improvement, etc. are always welcome.

current mood: amused
current music: Johnny Cash: The One On The Right

(comment on this)

Saturday, October 20th, 2007
11:39 pm - Harry Potter And The Prince of De Nile
Just a couple scenes from an AU going 'round & 'round in my twisted little brain. Hey, if old Dumbles & Grindey can be getting it on in canon, Harry & Sev can have their big gay romance too. Only this one's a happy-ever-after affair, none of that "19 years later" crap allowed in my pyramid.  ;-)


More later!

current mood: ditzy
current music: Love Theme from Cleopatra.

(2 comments | comment on this)

Monday, September 24th, 2007
12:46 am - More Icons!
I've been a busy little reptile. Here are some more icons for your entertainment & edification ... Oh, who am I kidding, I just made 'em for the heck of it. :-)

Snag at will. No credit required (except for icons made from my original artwork) but a "Thank You" is nice. Speaking of which, many thanks to the following fine folks for all the screen caps & such I used:

DJ_Capslock (a LiveJournal community)
The Leaky Cauldron

And if I ever figure out how to code, I'll get proper working links to their sites ... someday. I can't do html to save my soul. Anyways, enjoy!



Oh and yes, there will be more. So stay tuned ... if you dare! ;-)

current mood: artistic
current music: Dunno what it is but I like it.

(1 comment | comment on this)

Friday, August 31st, 2007
4:49 pm - I Come Bearing Icons ...
In honor of "Bring Back The Porn" on September 1st. Feel free to snag, I only require credit for those made from my own original 3d artwork. Otherwise, a simple "Thank You" will suffice, should you feel so inclined. NO HOT LINKING, PLEASE!

(20 comments | comment on this)

Tuesday, July 24th, 2007
Many of the stories and artwork you will find herein are NOT SUITABLE FOR MINORS. These will be placed behind cuts and/or friends-locked but parents, please monitor your children's computer use. The Internet is not one big happy G-rated amusement park. It's a community with all kinds of people and places, many of which you should not venture into unless you're of legal age and have some idea as to what you're looking for. This journal is one such place, so consider yourself warned. Failure to supervise and take proper precautions to avoid exposure to anything you may find unsuitable or otherwise offensive is not my fault -- any more than getting run over by a car would be should you choose to ignore the traffic signals.

THIS JOURNAL CONTAINS YAOI a.k.a. SLASH. If you don't know what that means, I suggest you come back when you're old enough to have figured it out. If you are old enough and have figured it out but decide you really don't like that sort of thing, please go elsewhere for your entertainment and we'll both be happy. Don't bother flaming me; I am Slytherin to the core and I promise you will NOT like the results. The last dunderhead to cross my path was hexed senseless and rendered into Potions ingredients, a fate I am certain you wish to avoid.

THIS JOURNAL CONTAINS FAN FICTION. Other people have created these wonderful characters and their magical world. They hold all the rights and are entitled to all the credit. I own nothing but my fantasies, which I freely share. There is no intent to do harm, merely to have fun.


And now that we've gotten that straight, on with the show! Tonight's episode:

Severus Snape And The Magic Bullet

ADULTS ONLY PLEASE! Explicit male/male action. Don't say I didn't warn you. ;-)

Our dear Potions Master has a memorable encounter with a bit of Muggle technology. [Spoiler-free.]

current mood: naughty
current music: Peel Me A Nanner

(comment on this)

> top of page